


home (or: more, more, more)

by untouchableface



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Future Fic, Love, Love Languages, Marriage Proposal, Retrospective, Romantic Fluff, Soulmates, pretty words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 02:25:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19802788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/untouchableface/pseuds/untouchableface
Summary: Inquisitor Trevelyan reflects on her ever-changing relationship with Thom Rainier. This is pretty much just some ridiculous, romantic sap.





	home (or: more, more, more)

**Author's Note:**

> (I'm working through irl feelings, so whee?)
> 
> But honestly, one of the most under-appreciated things about Blackwall is the ways he speaks his own love languages. So this is about that, mostly.

How could someone so _good_ carry such a burden so silently, she had wondered. Since meeting him, she could somehow sense the depth and breadth of the weight he carried, even if she didn't know the specifics of what was burdening him. Equally, she felt the pull of the energetic connection that had instantly, inextricably linked them – the gravitas of their private universe.

The only thing that bothered her was that for as much as she _felt_ , she had no real language to define _what_ it was exactly that she was feeling. Nothing to define what they were to each other. No map to clearly chart what they might become to each other, in due time. No clue to whatever depths may lay at the other end of that tenuous, ephemeral connection - the one that dangled and danced behind her casual words whenever they spoke freely at Haven.

At first, it was his stoicism that had intrigued her more than anything. Living up to his name, he was indeed an impenetrable wall, silent and immoveable. For all she would talk to him, trying to glean anything tangible, he kept his replies light and detached. And in those moments when she most wanted to shake something from him - some word, some gesture, some reaction... each time, he was nothing but taciturn, almost belligerently so. She'd always wanted most what she couldn't have, in every sense of the definition.

_More, more, more was the undercurrent that silently pushed at them both._

It was more shame than pride, she realized later, that kept him from declaring his love openly. That made him push her away. They both felt the link between them, there was no denying that much. And in those early days at Skyhold, she had been blindsided by his rejection, by the careful distance he always curated. She had no way of seeing what was underneath.

_More, more, more was the undercurrent that silently pulled at them both._

It was shame that almost ruined them both. Shame and secrets. If she had been any less brash, if he had been any more broken, they would have simply let each other drown like ships sinking in the night. It was only after they had come back together, jagged scars and all, that she began to see what kind of man Thom Rainier really was, truly, at his core.

And the only true difference between Blackwall and Thom was in name - she had been loving the man he could be, long before he could clearly see the path ahead. Both of them had been naive in their own ways; neither of them had perspective or space or time enough to grow into their best selves before their first meeting at that rural farm. In hindsight, the ways his body - his entire being - spoke of love had been written there all along; she just hadn't seen his actions for what they were.

The way they'd connected was not just about the electric carnality that danced between them, but rooted in something far more subtle, in several lifetimes worth of depth. The ways he kept space for her. The ways he put her needs first. The ways in which he was always giving, giving, giving. The way he said “my lady”.

That last one especially had floored Evelyn from the start. Everything that hung between them rested in the way his mouth shaped those words. A promise, a commitment, a claim, an oath. She hadn't realized how desperately she _wanted_ to be claimed until he started pushing her away. Until he'd left. And yet, she'd miraculously gotten him back after what felt like a lifetime apart.

After they grew together again, she'd come to notice that - more than desire - his **love** was always quietly present in the smallest of things. In the crafts he whittled and gave away, especially to the children of Skyhold. In the way he remembered her favourite foods, her favourite places, her favourite sleeping positions. His love was in the way he took watch until late into the night so that she could rest. His love was even there in the silly, small jokes he traded with Sera, with Varric, with Bull. Their hearts and destinies were linked – that much was clear now.

_More, more, more was the undercurrent that silently nudged at them both._

As perceptive as Evelyn could be when it came to the battlefield, she had been a blind fool when it came to how deeply Thom's love would change her life, far more than Corypheus' mark ever had.

And finally, when Thom got down on one knee and presented a simple band with a simple promise, she found the words to articulate their connection: he was and would always be her home.


End file.
